My promise to you...
I’m consistently oscillating between anger, sadness, and hope.
I can’t help but feel betrayed by the medicine I once fell in love with. I’ve been dismissed and ignored.
To the clinician, my daughter is one of many scheduled patients. I know the people in charge of her life are overworked, underpaid, and losing passion. I know they don’t have the bandwidth required to learn and research anything outside their core knowledge; after all, they’ve already spent over a decade acquiring what they have. It’s no easy task, and I understand that.
But they also need to understand who I am. My daughter is everything to me, and I am not the type to accept the way things are.
I’ve spent over a decade of my life challenging the way things are, and I would spend every decade hereafter doing whatever it takes to help her. I would move heaven and earth for her. I will do whatever it takes to ensure she’s safe, loved, and healthy.
These doctors met my sweet little girl for 15 minutes. They are not better equipped to go against my 15 months.
I’m angry that I have to spend so many hours every week doing nothing more than advocating for her.
What if I didn’t know medicine?
What if I didn’t have the time?
What if I didn’t have the resources?
What if I (like so many) fully trusted the system?
I’m angry that so much of what we’re investigating is only because I have these luxuries; most parents don’t. We should be able to trust the system with our lives…quite literally! But, this is sadly not the case.
My promise to you, Chloe, is that I will fight for you.
I will make your voice heard even though you can’t speak.
I will be your light when times get dark.
I will love you always.
I promise my fellow parents that I will fight to make a change.
You deserve better.
Our children deserve better.
We deserve better.
I would consider taking her somewhere outside of the US. The system we have here is unsustainable. If you look up US healthcare vs the world- its not a pretty picture. We spend the most and have the worst quality healthcare relative to other developed countries.
I would love to change this. Thats why I have been trying to get into PA school for the last two years and even though the system is crumbling and we desperately need people especially now, getting into medical school is more competitive than ever and they are turning away people that want to help and want to be on the frontlines.
I advocate for all my patients. I work in a chronic pain/suboxone clinic. This is a population that the rest of the healthcare system has decided to vilify. I always encourage them to advocate for themselves as well because right now, our system does not have the man power or resources to do so. There is too much added burden from insurance companies and hospital quotas that takes away from patient care and just wears you down.
If it were my daughter, I wouldn't trust this system and to be honest, I don't think I will practice medicine in this country. It just feels too broken.
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